Broken Hearts:The Doctor Remembers
by SciFiGeek14
Summary: POst Journey's End sad. DOctor POV songfic. Song: "breakeven" by: The script


**Broken Hearts: The Doctor Remembers**

_A Doctor Who Fanfiction_

"_They've all got someone else."_

My own words echoed in my head as I shook the rain out of my hair and half-heartedly sent the TARDIS spinning into the time vortex. I'd lost Rose again. I'd let her walk right out my door, no; even worse, I'd practically shoved her out. I'd jumped at the chance for her to be happy. To get the fairytale happy ending that everyone always wants out of me. Just for once I was glad to give it.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in  
Cos I got time while she got freedom  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Now, sitting here all alone once again, I wished I'd been selfish. I wished I'd done something for myself for once. The last time we had been separated I had taken comfort in the fact that she was alone. That she missed me so much it hurt because it gave me something to fight for, to stay alive for. There was the chance of finding her again someday and knowing that she still felt the same. But now she has him, me, and I'm alone.

Her best days will be some of my worst  
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first  
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even no

I turned and wandered down the hallway past my own room and around a turn to a closed door. It was a door that had remained closed for a while now. I pulled the key chain that held the key to the TARDIS from around my neck. It now held too keys, the blue one for the front door, and a small pink one. I inserted the pink one into the lock and turned the key. A blast of air hit me as the air pressure equalized. The air smelled like Rose.

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you  
what am I suppose to say when i'm all choked up and you're OK  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces

I took a shaky breath and stepped around the door into what used to be a perfect and almost completely neat room. The ground beneath me crunched under the step of my converse as I stepped over broken glass. I looked down to see the shattered remains of a picture frame containing a torn photo of Rose and myself. I sighed and carefully picked Rose's half out of the carnage. I wiped away the tear that fell from my face to her smiling one and walked over to sit on the bed. I slumped down on the ripped apart mattress and starred at the four walls surrounding me.

They say bad things happen for a reason  
But no wise words gonna stop me bleeding  
Cos she moved on while I'm still grieving  
And when a heart breaks no it dont break even

Painful, blocked out memories flooded back. It was the night after I had left both Rose and Donna, Rose more permanently and more painfully, but still. I had broken. All those years of holding it in when things went wrong, of smiling at the loneliness, the telling myself I was better this way, I'd cracked. I wanted to wipe away all the painful memories. I'd taken the sword that I had kept from last Christmas and run, charging and crying, all the way to Rose's room.

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain  
You took your suitcase, I took the blame  
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains  
Cos you left with no love, with no love to my name

I'd slashed away at the memories and hacked at the light pink walls. And when I'd thought my energy was about gone, my anger flared up with more fury and I'd cracked the sword in two over my knee. It shattered into large shards of metal and I had taken one in each hand and carved deep gashes into the headboard and held on until my hands bled themselves numb. Then I'd collapsed and cried myself to sleep.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a god i don't believe in  
Cos I got time while she got freedom  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even  
No it don't break, no it dont break even, no

I looked once more around this awful room. This room that reminded me of all the good things I'd screwed up in my life. The bloodstains and ugly gashes couldn't hide the little bits and pieces of Rose that still shown through and made my hearts ache in remembrance and longing. Feeling nauseous I forced myself up and to the door. I locked it behind me. Some memories are best if forgotten. The horrible things I'd done to mutilate Rose's room was one of those things. Rose wasn't.

**Song: "Break Even" By: The Script**

**Story written for my good friend Jessie, Happy Birthday. I 3 You To Gallifrey and Back. =)**


End file.
